“We drove 22 miles into the city around Korakuen Hall. There were meadows and apple orchards. White fences trailed through the rolling fields. Soon the sign started appearing. THE MOST KISSED MAN IN JAPAN We counted five signs before we reached the venue. There were 40 cars and a tour bus in the makeshift lot. We walked along the steps to the slightly elevated spot set aside for raising your hand and kissing. All the people had sunglasses; some had hats, bum bags, towels. A man behind a merch stand sold postcards and t-shirts — pictures of the man taken from the elevated spot. We stood near a group of salarymen and watched them raise their hands. Murray maintained a prolonged silence, occasionally scrawling some notes in a little book.

“No one kisses the man,” he said finally.

A long silence followed.

“Once you’ve seen the signs about the man, it becomes impossible to kiss the man.”

He fell silent once more. People who got kisses lowered their hand, replaced by others.

We’re not here to kiss a man, we’re here to maintain an image. Every kisser reinforces the aura. Can you feel it, Jack? An accumulation of nameless energies.”

There was an extended silence. The man in the booth sold postcards and t-shirts.

“Being here is a kind of spiritual surrender. We kiss only what the others kiss. The thousands who were here in the past, those who will come in the future. We’ve agreed to be part of a collective kiss. It literally colors our lips. A religious experience in a way, like all tourism.”

Another silence ensued.

“They are kissing a man of kissing a man,” he said.”

• Written By Padraig.A.Gavin. Original work

Hey. DDT put on a cool card in the build up to ultimate party. And am struggling with my Funkin’ Fall piece so I wanted to procrastinate. Lets get into it

Match 1 Naomi Yoshimura & Masami Inahata vs Sanshiro Takagi & Yuki Ishida

The match is nothing special. It has a very sick finish, though, with a brutal looking headlock takeover from Naomi on Ishida. Inahata is a DDT young guy I’ve been really impressed with. He’s yet to show any sense of personality or character, but there’s a very promising base to work with. 

Rating: **

Match 2 Yuki Ueno & To-y & Kaisei Takechi vs Danshoku Dieno & Kazuki Hirata & Super Sasadango Machine 

Alright, a lot going on here, so bear with me. Dieno has become infatuated with Takechi, even more than Dieno normally is with every man alive. So Dieno goes on the attack against Takechi while he’s making his entrance, but Takechi dodges, leading to Dieno having a long make out session with the ref while To-y and Ueno make their entrance, knocking the ref out cold.

Also, during To-y and Ueno’s entrance, To-y attempts to roll up Ueno, as Ueno is the current Ironman Champion. This leads to a mass brawl involving all six men around Korakuen Hall, trading the belt back and forth. Highlights include To-y threatening to jump off a balcony, Dieno having his ass wheeled on a cart into Ueno’s face, guest commentator and actress Yui Yoshida winning the belt, and Hirata and Takechi dancing together.

Eventually, Hirata and Takechi get sick of all this and agree to head to the ring to finally get this match started, which predictably leads to Takechi submitting Hirata in one second. After some speeches, Hirata rolls up Ueno and runs away from the other five men, heading backstage as the champ.

This is why I love DDT. It’s why I love wrestling. There are a lot of great bits in here. Exactly my kind of thing.

Rating: *** ¾ 

Match 3 Jun Akiyama & Daichi Satoh vs Shinya Aoki & Junta Miyawaki 

The kids are so happy to see Junta now. I’m so proud of you, Junta. Most Improved Wrestler of the Year, no doubt.

This match is essentially Satoh and Akiyama working over Aoki and Miyawaki until Aoki wins with a very cool roll up at the end. And that’s fine. Satoh and Akiyama are good in control, especially when they’re hitting Miyawaki in the dick, and Aoki gets some good hope spots with the creative ways he can roll up Satoh. But given the names involved, this could have been a lot better. Not a bad match, but a slightly disappointing one.

Rating: ** ¾ 

Match 4 Daisuke Sasaki & Hideki Okatani & Ilusion vs Shunma Katsumata & Yuni & Kazuma Sumi 

Very simple but fairly enjoyable match. DDT trots out three of its non threatening boys to try and take down Damnation and all their tricks. The match shows off how good Illusion and Okatani are as a tag team. They pull off a particularly sick looking counter to Sumi’s 619. Daisuke Sasaki was also there.

The best part of the match is definitely Illusion going for a chair shot, only for it to bounce off the ropes and head straight into his own head. Sumi is the match MVP. His roll up attempts are really enjoyable to watch. Unfortunately, one of these roll ups gets reversed by Sasaki, meaning the cheating bastard retains their belts.

This was good.

Rating: *** ¼ 

Match 5 Jun Akiyama & Daichi Satoh vs Shinya Aoki & Junta Miyawaki

Two pretty good tag teams having a pretty good match. It’s very surface level, though. Sure, all the sequences are good, fun and well executed, but there are no real ideas in this match that you can really sink your teeth into. It doesn’t break any of the supposed ‘rules’ that make a match bad, but I just wish there was a bit more going on here. Masada deserves a lot of praise. His kicks and knees have become really good, and Korku is hot. Also, maybe too many people on the DDT roster have a wrestling style of ‘going for a lot of roll ups’. It leads to a lot of the matches feeling really samey.

The sequences, as I said, were good and fun, though.

Rating: **¾

After the match, we got some announcements. DDT is getting a new announcer and three new rookies. Can’t wait to see them all meet Hell’s Gate.

Also announced was that Aoki is joining the DDT roster full time. And that’s just swell.

Match 6 Ryusuke Taguchi vs Akito 

A delightful little match we’ve got here. The whole match is built around each man targeting the foot and knee of his opponent as they try to pick up a submission win. The limb work here is just brilliant. It’s very important how they differentiate each man’s work. Taguchi is more of an ‘I’ll sit on you and apply some pressure to the knee’ wrestler, while Akito has more of a ‘hit you with a big move and now your knees are messed up’ plan. The best example of this is the double leg dragon screw he pulls off. It makes this match really compelling. The technical wrestling is as sound and smooth as you’d expect, although occasionally it gets a bit contrived. Akito is guilty a couple of times of just moving his body for no reason so Taguchi can transition into the next counter. A bit Dean Malenko like.

In general, this is a brilliant Taguchi performance and just a good Akito performance. You can see it in both men’s selling of their injured limbs and their desperation to win. Taguchi is terrific, while Akito is just not quite there. Those are minor complaints, though. This was a great match, and the final two minutes of each man trading submission attempts is wonderful wrestling. Loving this Taguchi DDT run. I hope he sticks around for a long time.

Rating: *** ¾

Post match, To-y comes out to declare himself as the next challenger and Taguchi dances with his upcoming Super Junior Tag League partner, Kazuma Sumi. Taguchi and Sumi vs Desperado and Mistico. I’m glad Tag League will have one good match this year.

Match 7 MAO & KANON & Yuki Iino & Yukio Naya vs Chris Brookes & HARASHIMA & Antonio Honda & Hinata Kasai 

This was an eight man elimination tag match with over the top rope eliminations, and it absolutely rocked. I’ve got my issues with a fair few of the wrestlers in this match, but here, it all worked.

The match benefits greatly from the format, allowing it to have a great pace. At the start, everyone’s getting their bits in, and it’s such a fun time. Iino and Naya as a team is the best Naya has ever looked, which is a shame considering Iion is leaving. Honda is obviously the best in the world, and he’s a delight here.

We get a lot of eliminations back to back, leaving us with KANON and MAO vs Brookes and HARASHIMA. I’d worry this was where the match would start to lose steam, but the pace doesn’t let up, with a sick looking submission getting rid of KANON and a fun roll up taking care of HARASHIMA.

Then we get the final two of MAO and Brookes. The Ultimate Party main event I’m dreading watching was actually great because a ref bump led to all the eliminated men getting involved for an everyone hits their shit finale sequence. All of which ends with MAO rolling up Brookes for the win.

What does this mean for the Ultimate Party main event? Who cares? This was great, a really fun, fast paced crowd pleaser of a match. What DDT does best.

Rating: ****

Post match, we get a promo from Iino stating that before he goes to NOAH, he wants one last match against his former Pheromones partner, Danshoku Dieno. Dieno comes out and accepts but only if they go back to their Pheromones ways, so we’ve got one more match to review.

Secret Bonus Match 8 Yuki “Sexy” Iino vs Danshoku “Dandy” Dieno

Dieno does the full Pheromones entrance, and Iino is already in tears before the match starts. Dieno gets naked and encourages Iino to do the same as he leads the crowd in sexy chants. Iino struggles internally with whether he should join Dieno or not. He eventually settles on only taking off his cap and spearing Dieno for the win. Pheromones is dead and buried in the most beautiful way possible.

Wrestling is the best thing in the world, man.

Rating: **** ½ 

Post match Iino sets up his goodbye match against Naya.

Full Show Thoughts 

A great show you should go out of your way to watch. DDT is the best promotion in the world, baby!!!

I’ll see you at Ultimate Party.